Motherhood Is Messy

I know it’s a secret we all try to hide so that the world thinks that we have it all together.…

When in truth, we are all operating in our own unique 3-ring circus crazy beautiful shit show! 

I used to hate when mothers would talk about the seasons of motherhood. 

It’s just a season, they would say…

I would roll my eyes! 

But I get it now. 

Because the dark winter I am just coming out of was a brutal one. 

I did everything I could to escape it over and over again. 

And many times, I thought I had. 

The sun would begin to shine…

Things in my life would feel like they were blooming…

Only to again be hit by the bitter cold and 3 feet of snow.

Over the last 3 years, I feel like I lost my way as a mother. 

Or maybe I did not lose my way so much as I forgot who I was. 

Several months ago, I completed my breastfeeding journey with sweet Tallula. 

She was two and a half. 

I can see now that what I’ve been navigating was very much tied to my postpartum journey.

The postpartum period does not end at 6 to 8 weeks when you are expected to go back to work.

I mean it takes 9+ months to grow a baby!  

The truth is the postpartum experience can last for years especially if you are still nursing. 

Life as a mama at times is hard! 

Really, really hard! 

I need to say that more.

I need to acknowledge that raising kids is hard.

And there are definitely seasons! 

I am happy to share that I THINK spring is finally here.

The sun is beginning to shine. 

I’m breathing deeper.

My mind is clearer.

I trust that God is taking care of my children so I don’t need to worry so much. 

And God has been blessing me with new friendships.

Today, my heart feels full! 

Today, motherhood feels manageable. 

Today, I am okay. 

Tomorrow is another day, and I await the honor of meeting with sunrise with open arms as I try my best to find the magic in the messiness of what the day will bring!